Mr. Bush's Bad Hair Day

I wrote this story after going out and looking for a new pair of jogging shoes. While browsing through the clearance rack I saw a brand called 'Nunn Bush' and almost broke down laughing in the middle of the store. I decided to write a short story based on my theory of where the name may have come from. If I feel silly I may eventually add badly done drawings as well.

"Mr. Bush's Bad Hair Day"


One day Mr. Bush had a wild idea; a way to combine his fetish of nuns and shoes. He snuck into a convent late in the evening; and after doing unmentionable things in a pair of nuns shoes he had another wild idea. What if he could cloth his feet in nuns somehow? Hair didn't seem appropriate somehow. Unless ...

And so he proceeded to 'trim' several nuns, until he had enough 'material' to weave a fine pair of shoes. The nuns, after a hard day of prayer and ... whatever it is nuns do all day slept through the whole thing. And so Mr. Bush made off with his ill-gotten gains.

The nuns, upon waking, declared the act a miracle of the lord. Being, in a way, married to God, they surmised that God preferred a shaved clam and thought nothing more of it. This allowed Mr. Bush, who had been complimented on his stylish footwear by many a person, to creep into several convents over the years and steal more nun pubes; to avoid suspicion he dressed as an angel, and soon there were reports among the nuns of a 'blessed angelic presence' shaving for the lord.

Mr. Bush decided to sell his shoes, cleverly adding a second N and making the brand 'Nunn Bush' to avoid suspicion. How fortunate his last name was also Bush; God clearly works in mysterious ways

Eventually he found a way to design synthetic nun pubes, but that's a story for another day. Some still say, though, that on some nights, when Mr. Bush has had too much ether in the evenings, you can still see him creeping through the covenants with his angel wings made of pubes; and they say that, if you listen closely, you can still hear the slight buzzing of an electric razor.