In fact, it's a new holiday. It's ChristmEastLoween, the most magical day of the year which combines every worthwhile holiday. Santa and the Easter Bunny ride unicorns down a magical fucking rainbow to give lollipops to everybody, and then everybody dresses up in costumes and runs around like idiots while Jesus turns water into whiskey and gets everybody trashed.
What's that you say? What about Valentines Day? FUCK Valentines day; ChristmEastLoween bends Valentines day over and sodomizes it. This is a magical day of adventure, not whoring yourself out for chocolate to the opposite sex.
What, you're still not happy? FUCK not being happy; not being god damned ecstatic is a crime on ChristmEastLoween. Santa and the Easter Bunny will personally hire the Krumpuss (my favorite mythological holiday creature) to whip your enemies raw in front of you; you're enemies won't even care either because of the sugar rush from all the melted down lollipops they've been free-basing all day.
ChristmEastLoween is a fucking miracle day where the world bends over backwards for you, instead of bending you over.
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