Chuck Norris

I have a strange fondness of Chuck Norris jokes; there particular brand of non-sequitor humor tickles me in a very inappropriate way =). I decided to try and make up a few new jokes:


Chuck Norris's beard can impregnate women.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to be liked; only feared.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a midget so many times in the face that his body stretched out to full person size. Then he ate him.

Chuck Norris has 2 midgets that live in his beard and eat scraps. Just kidding, Chuck Norris ate the midgets too.

5 midgets tried to impersonate Chuck Norris by dressing up as him. Chuck Norris found out and broke himself into 5 Mini-Norris; each Mini-Norris then ate a midget. This is why Chuck Norris is known as the only human capable of asexual reproduction.

Somebody once told a Mini-Norris that he was cute. Mini-Norris responded by jumping into the man's mouth, clawing his way down his esophagus, and then roundhouse kicking his way out through his sternum. Then he curled up and took a nap in his chest cavity. It was adorable.